The only thing worse than a bad romantic comedy (eg Knocked Up) is a bad romantic drama – which I endured last night, in the form of Definitely Maybe… Here was one of the stupidest lines: (Woman to man) “I feel lost… especially when it comes to relationships!” Does anyone actually talk like that??
I feel like the only way I can bring restoration to my sad loss of two hours is to go back in a time machine… or perhaps to vicariously regain the lost hours by watching a movie about going back in time… preferably a movie featuring an oddball professor and some wacky one-liners.
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Yes they do. A friend send something very similar to me last week. He had had a very rough time in his previous long term relationship after a broken marriage (and before you think he needs religion, he is a church going Christian in the choir). So there!
I love good British romantic comedies.
Yeah but I bet he didn’t say it as a pick up line, which is how it functioned in the film!
The worst romantic drama ever would be Tiptoes. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0316768/
I recommend seeing it – just so you have a yardstick against which to measure everything awful in your life from now on. Broken leg? A breeze compared to sitting through Tiptoes. Burst water main and a flooding house? laugh, my friend, it could be worse – you could be watching Tiptoes!
What would you suggest as an appropriate pick up line then Matthew? Something like “I feel lost….. have you got a road map?”
No he didn’t – he’s a good friend. But perhaps a pathetic woman, having suffered abusive relationships, might say it to appear weak and vulnerable … and desirable to someone they think might love and protect them (which is precisely the reason she had had abusive partners – because she was attracted to dominating power seekers). Some men like pathetic women … sounds like a pathetic film!
Steph: Well yeah, I think you’re right: I felt like in the film, this woman was presented as the dispensable one, who didn’t have the backbone to be worth sticking with. She was perpetually lost… but this wasn’t presented with much credibility or sensitivity.
I do actually also have a certain fondness for GOOD british romantic comedies though… much to my chagrin!
Carolyn: Well I’ll put Tiptoes on the list [crossing fingers]…
I’ll tell you how I picked up my wife: I entered the scene with the line, “Would you like a jewel?” And by the time she realised that I meant a chocolate resembling a jewel rather than a real live jewel, it was too late – she was hooked… then I just had to reel her in, pull out the hook and stick her in a bucket of seawater.
You are in SO much trouble when your wife reads this – not only have you in effect called her a fish, but also a materialistic one!! delete delete delete!!!!
Carolyn – He didn’t add that it took another 2.5 years until we actually ended up together though! Or that he was only one of a few guys I hung out with that at that camp. Or how sweet it was about 2.5 years later when he shyly asked if he could hold my hand *fondly reminiscing smile*. Thankfully, the jewel he ended up getting me (ie my engagement ring) is MUCH nicer than those stale chocolates were. There were so many of them and they were truly awful.
Matt – Your analogy makes relationship with you equal a bucket of seawater as well. Yuck! Even more yuck for you given you hate fish! Good thing I’m not really a fish and our marriage is better than seawater, huh!
If I were a fish, I’d be a monkfish, because they’re so contemplative and holy… or perhaps a clownfish… or a flathead
Thats a nice little motto for the two of you…”our marriage is better than seawater”. All sort of….oh, i dont know – romantic!!