What Tom Hanks does in his spare time…

…and you thought he was only interested in chasing through Paris, solving Holy Grail related mysteries!

h/t: Peter

“Worse than giving birth”

I’ve just spoken to someone here at the Uni of Nottingham who has just, 5-minutes-ag0, submitted her PhD dissertation.  And the final months were, in her emphatic words, “worse than giving birth”.  That’s coming from someone who has given birth a couple of times.  So I’m looking forward to holding this over my wife, when I finish my own PhD: “Sure you’ve given birth a few times, but spare a thought for me – I’ve submitted a dissertation!!”

Perhaps while she’s in the pain of childbirth in January, I could comfort her with the words, “Don’t worry dearest – at least you’re not formatting a bibliography…”

The sower sows the seed

I planted some seeds a couple of months ago, and now they’ve grown…

In accordance with timeless biblical principles, I’ve just separated the good plants from the weeds.  My final step will be to follow Paul’s advice and trample them:

“Fool!  Don’t you know that what you plant will not come to life unless it dies!” (1 Corinthians 15:36)

Teaching 2 and 4 year olds the gospel Part Deux: Introducing Greek

Over the last few days I’ve been dramatically reading stories to my kids in Attic Greek, translating after each sentence.  So far, Cara has picked up the noun “ploion” (boat) and the verb “horao” (I see).  Hmmm… it does make me wonder whether it’s worth introducing them to the language in a more consistent and thoughtful way.  Ed Ball, at uni, suggested I should get them onto Latin first – but honestly, the eastern patristics are just so much more chic than the western patristics right now, so I’m sticking with Greek.  Of course, I won’t force it – the kids are welcome to opt out of Greek when they turn 18…

Seven steps to bliss

1. Order budget priced phone from china on internet.  Open contents:

2. Carefully remove stylus with thumb:

3. Press harder with thumb – insist that stylus must come out:

4. Try with teeth:

5. Try with pencil:

6. Give up on removing stylus.  Read comical “English” instructions:

7. Bathe in wannabe-iPhone glory:

Why do the other religions always think of these things first??

I propose a history-of-religions style Christian adoption of this idea, whereby we name the guy on the coffee “The Dead Lamb” instead of “The Dalai Lama”.

http://media.theage.com.au/dalai-lama-latte-hits-taiwan-709390.html

h/t: sg

Red Gold

Decided to try brewing my own wine.  Bottled my first lot today.

Likelihood of disappointment upon tasting: 96%

Hedgehogs. Why can’t they just share the hedge?

In honour of my coming trip to the land of my ancestors, Scotland (I leave Sunday morning for one Old Testament conference followed by one New Testament conference), I list for your pleasure the jokes recently judged to be the 10 funniest at this year’s Edinburgh Fringe Festival:

• 1) Dan Antopolski - “Hedgehogs – why can’t they just share the hedge?”

• 2) Paddy Lennox – “I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: ‘This could be interesting’.”

• 3) Sarah Millican – “I had my boobs measured and bought a new bra. Now I call them Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes because they’re up where they belong.”

• 4) Zoe Lyons – “I went on a girls’ night out recently. The invitation said ‘dress to kill’. I went as Rose West.”

• 5) Jack Whitehall – “I’m sure wherever my dad is; he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.”

• 6) Adam Hills – “Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You know you’re going to get it, but it’s going to be rough.”

• 7) Marcus Brigstocke – “To the people who’ve got iPhones: you just bought one, you didn’t invent it!”

• 8 ) Rhod Gilbert – “A spa hotel? It’s like a normal hotel, only in reception there’s a picture of a pebble.”

• 9) Dan Antopolski – “I’ve been reading the news about there being a civil war in Madagascar. Well, I’ve seen it six times and there isn’t.”

• 10) Simon Brodkin (as Lee Nelson) - “I started so many fights at my school – I had that attention-deficit disorder. So I didn’t finish a lot of them.”

For more hilarity (including the 5 worst jokes), see the article from BBC Scotland here.

And you thought ‘brunch’ was a good idea?

According to the BBC, an Australian scientist has come up with the idea of adding “sprummer” and “sprinter” to the seasons of the year:

He has suggested holding a national debate on the subject, and a public competition to name the new seasons.

The full story is here – with thanks to Peter who pointed it out!

Holy water + coffee = holy coffee?

My sister and her family went to Wales recently, and brought back a present: A bottle of 100% genuine Holywell holy well water.  The story goes that at this location a woman – Winifred - was attacked and had her head cut off.  She was then prayed for, and hey presto, her head re-attached and she went on to live for 15 more years.  Anyhoo, at the place of her… ‘recapitulation’, if you will, a spring came up, and the water had healing properties.  The spring was made into a well, and now you can fill up bottles of the stuff:

So what I’m wondering is: Will it retain its special properties if I make it into coffee???