Here are the top ten versions of ‘me’ that I imagine, when I’m imagining not being this current ‘me’:
10) Ice cream van driver
9) Old overweight Greek guy who sits in a café (in Greece) that he owns and looks at people
8) Jolly fish n’ chip shop owner in the South of England. I imagine myself clapping my hands a lot as I walk outside in the brisk air, wearing my apron.
7) Generic office worker in a city central business district. This ‘me’ is a real prankster.
6) Retired army guy who gets called upon to come back for one last mission. I’m reluctant, but I go. After all, this time it’s personal.
5) Small scale farmer. But not in Australia; somewhere else, where it rains more often. On the side, this ‘me’ grows the world’s biggest pumpkins, and talks to them while watering them.
4) Owner of a private museum at some ancient site. Perhaps Corinth!
3) World-weary private investigator. This ‘me’ is too old for this job. But what else is he going to do?
2) Ferry captain. I wear the proper hat and pull my socks up high. I whistle sharply at people who misbehave on my boat.
1) Ice cream van driver. This one makes it into tenth place and first place, because I veer between liking the idea and not liking the idea.